Kelsey. 21, lesbian, Texas.
Taken by a beautiful girl, Symonne.
Matt Smith, John Green, and Meredith Grey are my spirit animals.
Dedicated Whovian.

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Help Me Get Heart Surgery
Medical mumbo jumbo.






 

how to decode a person with an anxiety disorder

things we are trying to do all the time:

  1. be safe

things we can’t help but do all the time:

  1. second-guess ourselves
  2. behave impulsively and reactively
  3. take everything personally
  4. worry
  5. worry
  6. worry
  7. have difficulty accepting compliments
  8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
  9. have difficulty finding the courage to respond
  10. have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
  11. make a huge deal out of the smallest thing

things you should keep in mind:

  1. we’re scared of everything
  2. pretty much all of the time
  3. it’s an actual disorder
  4. it manifests as impulsive behavior
  5. you can’t fix us with words
  6. telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
  7. it’ll only make us feel silly
  8. and then we’ll worry even more
  9. “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”
  10. like that
  11. also, we wear a lot of armor
  12. cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes
  13. we constructed this armor as children
  14. we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
  15. but there is a nice person under there, we promise

things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:

  1. stick around
  2. ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
  3. be willing to change the place or situation if not
  4. activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
  5. talk to them even when they might not talk back
  6. (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
  7. try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
  8. (the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
  9. (and they knows this)
  10. give them time to respond to you
  11. they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
  12. they will anticipate being judged
  13. it took me four hours just to type this much
  14. even though i sound casual
  15. that’s because i have an anxiety disorder

things you shouldn’t do:

  1. tell us not to worry
  2. tell us we’ll be fine
  3. mistake praise for comfort
  4. ask us if we are “getting help”
  5. force us to be social
  6. force us to do things that trigger us
  7. “face your fears” doesn’t always work
  8. because—remember—scared of everything
  9. in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself

emergency action procedure for panic attacks:

  1. be calm
  2. be patient
  3. don’t be condescending
  4. remind us that we’re not “crazy”
  5. sit with us
  6. ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
  7. remind us that we are breathing
  8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
  9. if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
  10. or breathe through our nose
  11. or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
  12. ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
  13. help us change it
  14. usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down

if you have an anxiety disorder:

  1. it’s okay.
  2. even if you worry that it’s not okay.
  3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.
  4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak.
  5. i know there’s a person under all that armor.
  6. and i know you feel isolated because of it.
  7. i won’t make you take it off.
  8. but know that you are not alone.
Basically, it was delicious. 

I’m still at Six Flags. :)

Basically, it was delicious.

I’m still at Six Flags. :)

Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You’re frightened, and you’re frightening, and you’re “not at all like yourself but will be soon,” but you know you won’t.

Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness (via bipolarchick79)

Tiny holes in my ears. I just stretched to a 10g. :)

Also, I have a question for anyone who might know. I don’t want to go much bigger (about a 6g, probably 4g at the most), so does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do about my second earring? I don’t really care if it has to not exist anymore if it’s too close to where I’m stretching, but how should I go about doing it?

Tiny holes in my ears. I just stretched to a 10g. :)

Also, I have a question for anyone who might know. I don’t want to go much bigger (about a 6g, probably 4g at the most), so does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do about my second earring? I don’t really care if it has to not exist anymore if it’s too close to where I’m stretching, but how should I go about doing it?

They were having a sale at the tattoo shop, so I got my nose and my cartilage instead of just my nose! :)

Just after. Done by John Rhodes at Mad House Tattoos in Denison, Texas.

Just after. Done by John Rhodes at Mad House Tattoos in Denison, Texas.